Evening Comics Target Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Residency Scheme

Late-night's prominent comedians used the evening ridiculing former President Donald Trump's just launched immigration program, labeled the "golden visa," portraying it as a clear cash-for-residency scheme for the wealthy.

The Late Show's Sarcastic Analysis

Kicking off his show, Stephen Colbert presented a mock Christmas song directed at the president. "He is compiling a list, checking it twice, and then giving that list to the officials at ICE," he intoned. "Trump ... ruins everything he handles."

Colbert's target was the new initiative that permits overseas individuals to purchase U.S. residence for an investment of $1 million dollars, with a "premium" tier for 5 million. The program's website pledges approval "with unprecedented speed."

"A brief thought for you to affluent applicants: prior to you pay, what about Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He pointed out that the card is also designed to "get cash" from companies wanting to hire foreign workers, involving hefty costs. "That is a lot of fees, however if you register, you also get a complimentary stay at a hotel of your choice – provided that it's the a specific Marriott," he added.

"The most thorough vetting the government has ever done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to verify these people truly qualify to be in America."

"That is important, you gotta prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Critique

On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the visa program the "American Dream Express Card."

"It's a card that will permit wealthy international individuals to live here," he explained. "For a million bucks, you get official resident status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one major crime of your selection."

"Perhaps it's time to change that poem on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your poor masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel mocked the lack of detail of the application, noting it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"Exactly, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "It's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you offer the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers on Affordability Struggles

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's plunging poll numbers during financial anxiety. "People gave Donald Trump a second term since they were upset about the economy," he noted.

Recently, in a bid to tackle affordability, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a array of grocery items, and reacted oddly to boxes of cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a long time."

"Trump is so incredibly weird," Meyers reacted. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by mocking conservative media arguments of Trump's economic performance. "Maybe instead of complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he laughed.