The Daily Show host regarding the President's Venezuela Strike: 'It's Just Exhausting'
Late-night television hosts lambasted the surprise armed incursion against Caracas, the capture of President Nicolás Maduro, and vague plans to "run" the country.
The Former Daily Show Host
Making his first appearance to the show in the new year, the comedian immediately addressed the surprise move to extract Maduro from power in early January, an action condemned by numerous countries as a "violation of sovereignty."
"Now, obviously, this is an incredibly dangerous moment for the international community," he stated. "It is highly unusual for a sovereign nation to violate the borders of another sovereign nation and pull off a grab and go on their president."
"The truth is, nobody can predict how this endeavor is going to end," he continued. "But based on the United States’ history, my prediction is we’re going to be really happy about this for a couple of weeks. And then three decades from now, there will be a Venezuelan leftist revolution, and the future regime will point to this event as the reason our embassy there is in flames. And it will absolutely ruin a Democrat’s presidency. Generally, that’s how this nonsense works."
The host further lamented the blatant admission that the operation was driven in part by desire for crude oil, despite advisors' efforts to paint it as an anti-drug trafficking effort.
"Petroleum. Precious commodity, certainly – but not the justification a nation, formed 250 years ago on the principles of liberty and self-determination, would go into a country and kidnap a man at night," he argued. "There must be a slightly more noble excuse. Have you never done this before? I mean, what the fuck?"
He joked that the honesty ruined conspiracy theories: "'I think they did it for the oil' – Yeah, no, I did it for the oil."
Stewart noted the dangerous precedent being set: "If we need shit and it’s not too far away, we are going to seize it."
"My sympathy lies with are the supporters, the excuse-makers, the sycophants, who haven’t received the memo that we don't need to cloak our military actions in the ideals of our nation," he concluded. "The reality is, this is all exhausting and exposes the Gulf of America – and I don't mean the ocean. The real Gulf is the gap between the noble ideals that embody this country and the thuggish gangsterism that these individuals believes makes us strong."
The ABC Late-Night Host
The host came back with a quick summary of the action-packed end-of-year period. "It would take a multi-part documentary series to cover it all," he joked. "I'll try to summarize."
He recalled that Trump recently hosted a televised honors event, which reportedly earned the smallest audience in the program's history. "I pity the White House intern who had to tear that headline out and eat ’em," he said.
The comedian then pointed out the stark contrast between a stated New Year's resolution and the decision to launch a foreign invasion just later. "To give you an idea of how damaging these released documents are for Trump, turns out they’re 'start a war' bad," he remarked.
More absurdly, Kimmel mocked the claim about now running Venezuela. "He plans to govern another country? He can't run the country he is supposed to lead!" he exclaimed. "This is like if a failing retailer decided to buy another bankrupt chain."
The CBS Late Show Host
During his monologue, Colbert commented on the surprise attack. "What does this tell us? Those recently released files must be crazy," he suggested, taking a drink on stage.
"For the record, Maduro is no saint," he acknowledged. "The question is suddenly decide to snatch their president in what seems like a violation of domestic and global statutes? Well, allegedly, the last straw was Maduro’s regular public dancing."
"OK … that’s a new one," said Colbert after showing a clip. "Consider this a lesson to every uncle at a wedding."
Colbert then poked fun at the big mystery of who would run Venezuela, suggesting it might come down to media companies. "Of course, Trump has his idea," which is to "manage the nation until such time as a orderly and legitimate transition."
"Wait, he'll run this country and Venezuela?" Colbert mocked. "Apparently, when he says 'putting America first' he means alphabetically."
Seth Meyers
"You guys, Donald Trump made history this weekend by becoming the first winner of a peace prize to initiate a military strike and capture a foreign president," joked Meyers. "It's the biggest surprise since a notorious character was voted least likely to commit a certain act."
Meyers later mocked the efforts to spin the attack as a war against narcotics, while the President immediately admitted the motivation was oil. "It’s really just amazing how Trump constantly undermines everyone around him and states the blunt reality," he said.
He also played a series of clips highlighting previous rhetoric condemning "foreign entanglements."
"It's hard to comprehend anyone believed Trump was telling the truth about being anti-war," Meyers stated. "Did people assume Donald Trump, the most thin-skinned man on the planet, would suddenly embrace the concept of restraint when he gained control of the U.S. armed forces? Giving Donald Trump control of the armed forces is like giving a volatile group an open bar and a 'permission to fight' coupon. There’s going to be a lot of fighting, a lot of drama and a lot of really bad dancing."
